I couldn’t get a clear view

Note to self: making that many cookies is dangerous.

I tried to stop and buy a violin string today. Givens isn't open on Monday. Seeing as how I'd already paid to park, I called my sister and we went out. It was fun. I sometimes think that we'd be even closer if we didn't live together. Like now.

Two days left here and then I will be in my own bed again. I can't wait.

And now I need to write.

Happy Halloween week, kiddos.

Quote o' the day:

"There are lots of ways of being miserable, but there's only one way of being comfortable, and that is to stop running round after happiness. If you make up your mind not to be happy there's no reason why you shouldn't have a fairly good time." - Edith Wharton

what goes around...

So much for an exciting World Series.

What happened to the thrill of October baseball?

Quote o' the day (OK, so I wanted a quote about Mondays, and this one was about Mondays AND baseball...perfect!):

"MONDAY, n. In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game." - Ambrose Bierce (American Writer, Journalist and Editor, 1842-1914)

Shouldn’t it be that easy to just be happy

Things to note.

There will be no pictures from my trek out to William O'Brien with Alison and Ben, because I couldn't find my camera. Alison is holding the picture of us hostage on her camera. But it was a beautiful day and we had fun (though we did not see any deer or frogs as the trail map told us we would). We stopped at the Village Scoop in Marine on St. Croix on our way back (I LOVE the mint chip...).

For those of you that actually like my dorky stories, I will share this one with you. As most of you probably know, we are in the midst of our fall rehearsals for orchestra. Since I've been house sitting, I've got loads of time to practice and no one around to care when I do it. So I've been really gung ho about my violin this week. My E string was kind of worn, so I ordered a new set of strings so I could replace all four of them. Of course, the string that I needed to replace the most was the E (also, in my opinion, the hardest to change). Wouldn't you know that I got over zealous with the peg, forgot about the fine tuner and it snapped. So I had to put the old one back on. I'll have to stop at Given's tomorrow on my way home from work. A quick plug for our concert on Nov. 10th. You should all come, because you will rarely get to hear a tuba concerto. And because the Tchaikovsky 4th is pretty awesome. If you want more details, let me know.

And also to note that I made 10 dozen cookies today. I wanted to make cookies for our meeting tomorrow and got excited about having extras. So I made two batches of the Nestle Tollhouse cookies, not realizing that they make about 5 dozen each. Whoops. Chocolate chip cookies anyone?

The Rockies just got a run and now are only behind by one... things could actually get exciting!

Quote o' the day:

"There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between." - Sir Thomas Beecham

I try to stay busy...

The sun is shining, the sky is blue and the tree are beautiful - I'm going hiking and I couldn't be more thrilled. There will be photos forthcoming.

Enjoy the day, friends.

Quote o' the day:

"The leaves fall patiently
Nothing remembers or grieves
The river takes to the sea
The yellow drift of leaves." - Sara Teasdale

I need something to believe in

There are moments, days, when I find myself overwhelmed by beauty in everyday things and by simple acts of kindness that come so unexpectedly at a moment that you need it the most.

Today as I was cleaning up my dishes from dinner, I looked out the window and the moon was so beautiful that it absolutely took my breath away. A full moon, or almost full, it was high up in the dusky blue sky, with grays and purples and pinks below it. Framed with fall foliage of various colors, I stopped. Tonight, on my way home from a reading, I saw a shooting star. It completely overwhelmed me.

Couple that with the fact that this reading I went to at Magers & Quinn, of a poet who has just written a beautiful book of poems about living in the country and about her step-son going to war and I just find myself needing to take a deep breath and let these things wash over me.

Two recommendations for the evening:
Dan Wilson's new CD, Free Life, is fabulous. For those of you that are familiar with Semisonic, he was the lead singer and has just now released his solo album. The link above goes to the story they did in the Star Tribune that is almost as fabulous as the CD itself.

The poet that I went to see was Ann Iverson. The poems were beautiful and incredibly emotional, without being overly political. Check out her book, Definite Space. If you like poetry, you won't be sorry.

Quote o' the day:

"This moment contains all moments." - C.S. Lewis, (British Scholar and Novelist. 1898-1963)

home alone tonight, nothing brings me down

If anyone gets the song from my title tonight - I will buy them a drink (that's if you're in the near area...).

This weekend was pretty darn good. Even orchestra was ok - despite all of the yelling at that we got because we were wasting time with mistakes. But, we had a good time Saturday and Saturday night - good food, games and just general relaxing. And no sasquatches. And my cake turned out pretty good despite the mess that I made while making it.

Now to read a book, write a review on it and practice.

Ooh... and I finished the NY Times crossword puzzle today. I think I may have never actually been able to do that by myself until today. :) (I did look up a few things, but whatever.)

I did actually have something to tell you, friends - but I do not, at this moment remember what it was. So sleep well tonight and hopefully, tomorrow is as beautiful as it was today.

Quote o' the day:

"He who hesitates is a damned fool." - Mae West

and i’m falling but i’m not dreaming

Today as I drove to work, my windshield got splashed numerous times with large amounts of water as other cars hit large puddles that collect in the large potholes and uneven roads that wend their way through NE. And even though I know that the glass protects me from the water - that there is no way that it will hit me, I shrink back, I blink and am amazed each time that I am still fully dry. It's the same way those few times that I sit behind home plate at the Twins' games. I know that the net will catch those lightning fast foul balls that fly backwards and threaten to knock someone unconscious, but I react, instinctively shielding myself from the ball.

Instinct. Reflex. They protect us in so many situations that could be harmful. We know, instinctively when there is something that might knock us down and keep us down. But how do we keep ourselves from over-reacting to something that might go either way. In our lives, we encounter situations in our professional lives, our 'friend' lives, and in our love relationships that turn out badly. Maybe more than once. How do we discern these good situations from the bad? When do we shut out the instinctive voice in our head that says - watch out, you're going to get drenched, get out of way? Because maybe, this time, it will be different.

You can't turn off instinct. And if your reflexes don't work, you may have something physically wrong with you. But you can, when there is the slightest chance that things will turn out different, open yourself up to that possibility and embrace it. Yeah, you might get drenched, but it might be the kind of water-soaking that only comes with a really good rain. The kind that hits you when you're standing in the cul de sac and swimming in a puddle in the middle of the storm.

On a side note, today was a pretty shitty, craptastic day. But it turned out all right in the end and I'm tired enough where I might just be able to sleep in this huge house tonight.

Tomorrow is Friday. TGIF.

Quote o' the day:

"Telling us to obey instinct is like telling us to obey "people." People say different things: so do instincts. Our instincts are at war.... Each instinct, if you listen to it, will claim to be gratified at the expense of the rest...." - C.S. Lewis, (British Scholar and Novelist. 1898-1963)

even I’m getting tired of useless desires

I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, and as usual, I've gotten myself so freaked out about that blank word document that I can't make myself get started.

The other part of it is that this professor has ground all of any will or excitement I had for this class by being a pill about our papers. I think our entire class is worried about how this next paper will turn out, grade wise.

So what have I done tonight? Made cookies, had dinner, read a lot on the subject of my paper, but so far, no actual writing. I've got my MLA books out and am all ready to go. This is why I never write at home. I can't do it - I will do ANYTHING to avoid doing it. Hence the mad cookie making.

And now I'm sitting here, waiting for that stroke of genius to hit me and then I can start writing. But for now, I have Smetana's My Country playing and can hear the clock ticking. My cup of Lipton's "Quietly Chamomile" is brewing and my sister has called me from Albuquerque at least two times and the cats want all of my attention and are getting none of it.

And now we've switched from major to minor in the Moldau theme in the Smetana...things are getting ominous. I should take this as a sign and start working on said paper ASAP.

I should also be sorry I've wasted all of your time with this blathering. Here's a funny tidbit - the ATM's at MCTC speak to you in a British accent.

We're back to major mode, but I should still sign out. Maybe now I can write about the backlist of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

Quote o' the day:

"Generally speaking, everyone is more interesting doing nothing than doing anything." - Gertrude Stein

I find a fatal flaw in the logic of love...

Warning. Major griping about the grocery store ahead.

The NE Rainbow is full of U of MN students. All over the store, stopping and talking to each other in the aisles. I never noticed it before, but tonight, they were everywhere.

The lines were ridiculously long for 7:30 on a Thursday night and they were out of a lot of things that I would normally get. And for some reason, I always manage to grab the cart that doesn't drive straight. So then I end up steering all crazy all over the store.

But, it is sort of fun, because you look in their carts and they have the typical ramen noodles, soda, noodle-roni, etc. It made me smile and remember when we used to run to the ghetto Sunmart at 10 for groceries and snacks.

Ok, so maybe not major griping.

Anyone want to take a guess at the lyric today? Kudos to Lisa for guessing the Ryan Adams' lyric.

Quote o' the day:

"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time." - Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown in "Peanuts," US cartoonist (1922 - 2000)

I worked hard for every little bit I got

Ever since the 35 bridge collapsed, they've had traffic cops at every light in NE, holding our hands through the stress-inducing, rage road causing, annoying traffic. Monday they were not there. And you know what? We all made it on our own. Sure, there was traffic, but no more than usual. I actually think that it was faster. Maybe because I left my house at the insanely early time of 7:30, instead of 8, but it went ok.

And I thought, maybe, just maybe, we've gotten to the point where they can let us go. Let go of our hand and let us walk, or as the case may be, drive, on our own. But then this morning, they were back. In their bright yellow, with their whistles, hats and light sabers; waving us through red lights, stopping us at green lights and whistling severely at those who do not listen. They had yesterday off because of Columbus Day, I guess.

That begs the question, when will it end? Will we wake up, drive to work one day to find that traffic laws actually apply? Or, will they keep guiding us through what is sure to be at least the next two years of construction (if they ever actually come up with the cash and a plan) until the bridge is complete? And on a grander scale, when do we know when the appropriate time to walk away is? When do you say, I've had enough hand holding and simply let go?

But before I wax too philosophical, I need to vent. Even before the afore mentioned bridge collapsed, surely, the most detested words in all of Minnesota were, "Road Work Ahead." And now, with no other ways to go, those road signs nearly cause me to have a stroke. They have been repaving a road that is a fairly major road near my house and thus detouring traffic onto our 30 mph residential road. And now, they're finished with that, but they are working on the intersection of the two major roads also near my house. Any guesses as to where traffic is being detoured? You got it - our road. So you see, people that don't normally drive that road want to go 50 and I want to piss them off, so I go exactly the speed limit. Which is not something I'm really known for doing. Because there are often cops on the road, just waiting. And I don't know about those idiots, but I don't really need another speeding ticket.

So yes. Roads lead us to where we need to be, but what do we do when the roads aren't accessible? Or passable? I want to be the guy whizzing by all of cars, cars that stack up behind one another like rows of ladybugs in the afternoon sun. The guy who rides his scooter to work and gets to laugh at all of us suckers in our cars.

Maybe I should learn to take the bus.

Quote o' the day:

"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic." - Dan Rather (American TV newscaster, b.1931)

I never asked you to care

Tonight we went and saw the "Global Voices" at the Guthrie and the guest was Sir Ian McKellan himself. And it was fantastic. He was humorous, kind and just generally interesting to listen to. One of those people that has lived a fantastic life and is generous enough to sit and share it with the little people.

I don't have many stories from Homecoming because it was pretty normal, not too many exciting things happened. But, Mark and I did get stopped by an older gentleman in the new campus center and he asked us where the chapel was. To which I replied, we're alumni too, I don't know where they moved it to. He just smiled and wandered off. I must look enough like a student to pass for one. The concert was good and I can't really believe the people that were there, there were so many. Almost 110 people played in the alumni orchestra.

And now I'm home and it's the second week of October and I'm pretty sure that things aren't slowing down anytime soon. They seem to be speeding by me at breakneck speed and I'm not in control any more. So I'll let go, let the dust settle and see where I come out.

Anyone want to guess where the lyric title is from this week?

Quote o' the day:

"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I never seem to do it like anybody else

Three things of note.

Today was a very long day. And here I sit on my couch eating cashews, whilst I wait for my kitchen floor to dry (finally got around to it...SO much cat hair).

First thing to note - I am incredibly lucky. I left my car window rolled down tonight during class (but locked the doors). Nothing in my car was stolen, and there was no weird person waiting in the back of my car to mug me or any other such nonsense. Which is kind of scary-lucky, because we have gotten a ton of emails about the 'security' issues on campus lately. What's even stranger is that this is the second time I've done this and not had anything stolen.

Second thing - my dryer is apparently throwing money at me. First a nickel in with my dry clothing, then a dime in with the towels, and now, a quarter in with my dry sheets. AMAZING.

Third thing is there is a song out there called " 'j' for jules." It's not even remotely related to me, lyrics wise, but I just heard it on my iTunes, and that is extremely random. Apparently, it was on the first ever Cities Sampler. It should be my new song.

And for my token reference to class/literary things, everyone should check out the Twin Cities Book Festival next Saturday (the 13th).

J is for Jules.

Quote o' the day:

"If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time." - Edith Wharton US novelist (1862 - 1937)

fall asleep with the window open

The hosteas outside my front door are adorned with small, yellow leaves, looking as if they are blooming, the rain won't stop coming down and for the first time this fall, I put on my smartwools and drank a Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale. It was fabulous.

After dropping off my sister (late as usual) early this morning, I made it in to work. What's that Van Morrison song? my mama told me there'd be days like this? It wasn't a truly horrible day, since there were some bright spots in between all of the meetings and general craziness. But it wasn't a good one. So here I sit. Reading my book for class tomorrow night which I am most certainly not excited about, and being a little bit lonely because it's just me and the cats. And listening to some kind of depressing Bob Dylan.

But. I do have some fun things. Like independent bookstores and how much fun they are. I had to visit Micawber's Booksellers in St. Paul for class just to get a sense of the indie feel. And I loved it. For all of you bookish people out there - they had handwritten recommendations that you knew were by Hans or Jen or whoever had hand-selected this book to be a recommendation. I bought two of them. And since it's not SO overwhelming, like Barnes and Noble, I actually got to peruse the entire store in about a half hour. I feel like that is a place I would go back to.

The other fun thing? Independent publishers like Milkweed Editions and Graywolf. Support them if you can because it is worth it. I may not like this professor very much, but I am certainly appreciating books more than I did. It takes a LOT of effort, especially if you are an unknown to get things published. So support and you will see.

And on that note - I got to meet one such author at a reading last Thursday and it was fantastic. Except my mom was disappointed that I did not use my Norwegian to thank him. Since he was Norwegian. I was too busy trying to not look like a goggly-eyed idiot when he was signing my book.

Saturday night was spent at Electric Arc Radio, which is put on by some Hamline graduates and it is fantastic. October 13th the musical guest is Storyhill, so anyone who wants to go should. It's like a new Prairie Home Companion. Ask me if you want to know more/go with me.

Sunday was the launch party for rock, paper, scissors, and I was stunned at the amount of people that turned out and at how well the magazine itself turned out. It's beautiful! I can't believe that all the work we did actually is done and that it is a finished product now.

And the Shipyard Pumpkin Ale. Fantastic. I promise it is worth the $7.95 for the six pack.

I'll be heading up to Fargo/Moorhead this weekend and hopefully running into some of you fantastic people that I miss. Because we all have news and things that we're doing that we don't share enough.

My lofty goals for the evening? In no particular order:

1. Clean our kitchen floor
2. Do a couple of loads of laundry
3. Practice my violin (might be too late for that)
4. Drink a cup of tea and take a hot bath
5. Read the rest of my book... (maybe that should be first)

Quote o' the day (yes, MORE Robert Frost):

"Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length." - Robert Frost