oh, but frustration doesn't end there.

I am unable to log into my computer at work. The little Mac login dialogue box just shakes at me accusingly. "THAT'S NOT RIGHT! GET IT RIGHT!"

I called every single freaking IT person that there is to call yesterday. I changed my password FOUR times. Two of my coworkers tried to log in and couldn't. SO...it's not me. Thank GOD.

I left desperate messages with three different people last night stating my name, what my computer number is, what kind of computer I've got, what the problem is and if they could please find my office in the building that I'm in at the end of the row of cubes in the middle of the building, and fix it by today, that would be freaking great.

It still doesn't work. Good thing I thought to bring in my laptop today so that I wouldn't be totally useless. I'm sure if I dug around in old papers enough and organized my stuff, I could pass the time. But I did that last night. So...what's a girl to do?

And this morning there are no IT people. They are all MIA.

Gah. Happy Wednesday.

Quote o' the day:

"The truth is more important than the facts." - Frank Lloyd Wright

a poem

I get the Writer's Almanac delivered to my email inbox each day and today there was a poem that I wanted to share. Enjoy!

Eager
by Kim Garcia

Above the snow, a single maple holding forth
its dying flame. Among the feats of Nature:
the wild
greening from dry bulb, sour alchemy of rot, a rusty
handprint of lichen;
the eager
space-seeking species springing up after fire,
as though they took no lesson from destruction
but to begin again, twice as joyful.

things aren't always as they seem

Most of us, when we meet new people, we make snap judgements on what kind of a person they are, based on their appearance, the things they say and do. And more often than not, we find out that we were very wrong. As I get older, I find it easier and easier to let people in. I've somehow overcome the shyness that used to plague me as a child and overcome those past hurts that make it difficult for all of us to allow those new people to see who we really are.

In the few classes that I've taken, I've become friends with people that I might have dismissed initially and learned a lot from them as a result. It's hard to cut people out when you realize that you are so much like them, or that they have things that they can teach you about life, or just being a better person in general. Wouldn't it be great if we could all take that one small step towards releasing those judgements? I think that we could save ourselves a lot of drama and probably live a little more peacefully.

I don't want to be too deep on a Friday afternoon when I'm getting ready for a weekend that promises to be fun, and at the very least, interesting, so I'll stop there. But I wanted to get it out there before I forget. Sometimes, things aren't always as they seem or aren't what we expect. And that - is a wonderful thing.

Quote o' the day:

"Human potential, though not always apparent, is there waiting to be discovered and invited forth." - William W. Purkey

say that again?

How is it that even on the best of January days - it still feels like winter in MN? Even if the sun is shining and the birds are chirping and the light reflecting off the snow is beautiful, we can still find something to whine about.

Maybe the reason we're bitching is because everyone is crabby because we know that spring is NOT just around the corner. And while we wait patienctly for the groundhog to show his little head, we all dream of warm weather, baseball games, barbeques and those hot days of summer. And we all blame the weather for these midwinter doldrums that make us tired, crabby and sick - it's not the weather. It's our own state of mind. Because when those dog days of summer do arrive, we complain about them too. Hmm...

Yes friends, some of what I've been calling 'horseshit' in my class is starting to sink in. I came to the realization today that I'm always planning my next move, my next day, my next thought, even - and that's not healthy. I need to focus on what is making me happy now. And that might mean that I need to start to enjoy the winter weather instead of complaining about how I wish it was summer. I actually kind of smiled today when I got my heel stuck in snow - it just sunk right into the packed down, dirty snow and slush mixture and for some reason, I found it funny.

I do believe that people come into your life for a reason and I think that one reason was to jolt me out of my 'plannner' mode. Not to say that I still don't have to have a schedule, because I honestly think I'd be running around in circles if I didn't have one, but maybe it's time to let myself be a little bit more relaxed. What was it he said? "Yeah, you need to get over that planning thing."

I know that some of you might be saying, huh? Say that again, J? But it will be good for me.

Quote o' the day:

"In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration." - Ansel Adams

duvets and diablo wings

Sunday.

The last day of the weekend. Generally a crappy day in general because you remember that your free time is almost over and that you have to go back to work tomorrow.

We were supposed to have brunch with the parents today, but at the last minute, with the snow we got this morning, Naom and I decided to stay in. She messed around the house, getting rid of the exhorbitant amounts of cat hair that have built up in our lack of cleaning lately, while I read Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh for my class.

Then we decided that we were both crabby and wanted to get out of the house. So we went in search of a duvet cover for her new comforter. Not as easy as you might think to find. We went to Linen's N Things, which we both keep thinking is a Bed Bath and Beyond. Nothing but hideous, gold embroidered comforters that belong on my grandma's bed. To the mall! And the story was the same at all of the major department stores there. Finally she bought one just because she was sick of looking.

We stopped for wings and a beer at the Green Mill. The Diablo Wings are THE BEST. Try them next time you are at Green Mill.

When we got home I decided it was finally time to start working on my paper. Which is what I should be doing now. :)

This week is going to be nuts, but I'm ok with that. Being busy is better than being bored.

Anyone want to write an analytic summary/critical review for me?

Quote o' the day:

"In the sex-war thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male,vindictiveness of the female." - Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave, 1944

don't you have a record of this?

Ok, so, I need to get my oil changed. I called the dealership where I bought my car because I get free oil changes there since I bought the car there. Kevin, the guy I talked to, not only repeatedly called me "Julie," but also asked me if I knew that I had some service that needed to be done on my car. To which I replied, really? I was unaware that my car needed service, even routine service, besides the oil change. This was the conversation that followed:

"When did you buy the car?"
"End of October or November?"
"Did you have it inspected?"
"Yeah, I would assume so."
"Where did you buy the car?"
"I bought it AT Walser."
"Really? Which dealership?"

And it went on like this like for another minute or two, and once he finally managed to 'squeeze' me into their oil change appointments tomorrow, I hung up and wanted to scream.

HOW do they not know that I bought my car at the freaking dealership?! They should have that in the record, along with my phone, email, address, etc.

Apparently they don't. And apparently, I need service on my car that I JUST bought.

This will be interesting.

wanderlust

So for class last night, we read a book about pilgrimage.

And as of right this minute, I have a huge urge to take a trip somewhere. Fly, drive, whatever. For the weekend - not this weekend, but soon...very soon. Plus I feel like I need to get the hell out of here for a bit - get out of my own mind for awhile.

Anyone in?

Quote o' the day:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost

thinking is a gray area

Today is Thursday and I am extremely glad, because that means that tomorrow is Friday. While I am actually enjoying my class a lot, (our discussion last night about the Power of NOW was really interesting - everyone else felt the same resistance to the book that I did...I think someone even wanted to throw it across the room? Ha.) it's too much work. But the people in it are interesting and have a lot of good things to say. Plus, I think there are only like two people taking it for actual credit (and that includes me), so kudos to those taking it for FUN.

Never. Taking. A J-Term. Class. Again.

I feel sleep deprived and am really glad to have a night at home tonight. Maybe I'll cook something yummy - because I've been eating leftovers for like two weeks. And I don't think I can eat anymore chili. Or anything that is remotely chili flavored. Gross.

On another unrelated topic - if you haven't seen The Last Kiss - don't bother. I wasn't really a fan of the movie, BUT - the soundtrack is great - I can't stop listening to it. Yeah, some of the songs are overplayed, but I like them. And they seem to appeal to my current state of thinking for whatever reason. Check it out - you shan't be sorry.

Everybody's workin' for the weekend.

Quote o' the day:

"We do what we must, and call it by the best names." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

be in the NOW

We had to read this book for our class called The Power of NOW.

Let me start out by saying that the back of the book states that you need to let go of your ego before reading it. I'm all about self-help - but this book, I really thought it was a bunch of crap. The author talks a lot about how you need to stop resisting, stop labeling and trying to understand what the NOW is. Just BE. Don't think - we're all slaves to thinking. Just BE. And when you reach that point - you must be enlightened. I'm all about people wanting to be enlightened, I really am. But this was just the cheesiest and most annoying way of putting that I've ever encountered. I took Religions of Asia. We talked about dukkah and the four noble truths and I thought that was interesting and cool. But my main problem with this guy was that he was all about mixing Jesus and Buddha and all sorts of shit to make his 'theology.'

Because he's a spiritual master. Whatever.

Maybe if I had picked up the book on my own instead of reading it for class, I would have gotten more out of it. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was interesting, and there were definitely things I could take from it. But it just doesn't fit with my personality and my life situation right now. Maybe something else will work.

At any rate...I now need to finish my paper on spiritual practices. Which is going to suck - because it will be very much a first draft.

I'm never taking a Jterm class again.

Quote o' the day:

"There is no enlightenment outside of daily life." - Thich Nhat Hanh

things I love...

have grown on me.
They're the things I've nestled into.

(Storyhill, Things I Love)

-Watching the big snowflakes fall just when you thought it was doomed to be brown and gloomy all winter
-Seeing a friend that you know you've missed, but haven't realized how much until you hear their voice or see them for the first time in a long time
-the familiar touch of someone you love, a hand on the small of your back just when you were feeling the need for human contact
-settling into a cup of coffee and good conversation with a friend
-watching the world go by as you sit and rest
-music that moves your emotions
-the possibility, thought and knowing that you are loved

These are things I love - and somehow forget from time to time. Maybe it's time to take some time and remember these things, friends.

Quote o' the day:

"Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." - Burton Hills

I should be (fill in the blank)

I should be cleaning our house.

I should be taking down Christmas decorations before it's February and they are still up.
I should be reading about the Sabbath and the Power of NOW for my class.
I should be writing my paper that's due on Wednesday.

In short, there are a great many things I should be doing. Instead, I've met up with three different friends today, stopped by my parents and gotten my haircut (way shorter than I wanted it to be). I decided to start watching The Fellowship of the Ring, which I purchased, along with the other two in the trilogy, last night at Target because they were on sale for $7 each. That's a sweet deal. And yes, I'm a HUGE nerd.

What should YOU be doing? ;)

Quote o' the day:

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

sometimes you want to go...

where everybody knows your name...

Ok, so they don't know my name yet, but they sure as hell know me and what kind of beer I like. Maybe I need to find a new place to go. Tonight Becca and I ended up going out and getting a few drinks. We watched the T-wolves and the Gophers and generally talked about a lot of different things. Good times. Even the annoying waitress wasn't that annoying.

At any rate, I'm feeling pretty mellow and excited for the weekend.

Cheers kids.

and so it goes...

The New Year has finally caught up with me. Along with all of the good times and running around I did over vacation. I feel pretty craptastic today, mostly just run down and tired. Today is the first day in a long time where getting up and going to work was actually work.

Here's hoping I can get my ass in gear and get some stuff done today. I need coffee. Stat. Cheers!

Quote o' the day (special edition):

"I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee." -Flash Rosenberg

umm...yeah

So I thought I had an allergic reaction, I thought maybe I had the measles. Not so, my friend. I have a virus that manifests itself as a rash. NO need to worry, friends. I'm not contagious. But it might take 4 to 6 weeks to go away. Yuck. Until then I have antibiotics. How very exciting. At least I know I'm not allergic to my new sheets.

So now I'm sitting at the Caribou by Calhoun, wasting time with my vanilla latte until I need to leave for class. Which is aptly called "Pilgrimage, Protest, Mindfulness, Dialogue: Old and New Spiritual Practices. We shall see, friends. We shall see if I can read 6 books by the end of January. Shit that's a lot, even for me.

Happy Wednesday, peeps.

Quote o' the day:

"To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered." - Voltaire

happy 2007

I know I've been missing in action for the last week or so - not to worry. I start a regular schedule again tomorrow. Which I'm actually excited about. I didn't get anything done on my vacation that I should have done, just spent it running around and seeing people that were in town. It was really great, don't get me wrong, but some normalcy will be nice.

Well, kids, 2006 went out in pretty much the same fashion as 2005. Not too much excitement going on, low key with people that I like hanging out with. Good food, good friends, good drinks and games - I can't think of a better way to end the year. Of course there were people missing that I would have liked to have seen, but we made sure to call them at midnight and scream into their voicemail - Steve, you would have been proud.

I don't like resolutions because I don't usually keep them, but here are some things I want to get done in 2007:

- get my running shoes back in action (can't let the weather stop me)
- learn how to use my new camera and use it
- attempt to read stuff outside of class
- work on spontaneity (oxymoron, I know...)
- take a trip somewhere fun
- backpack in Montana or the North Shore

And that's pretty much it. If you have any good resolutions you want to share, please do so. Sometimes the best resolution ideas come from other's resolutions.

I hope that all of you have recovered and are ready to start the new year off with a bang. I get the feeling it's going to be a good year. (At least that's what my horoscope says...we shall see if that holds true.)

Quote o' the day (because I know you all missed it):

"Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life." - Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth