how fragile are the very strong

Things that you forget and then remember...

1. Laundry etiquette. How long does one wait before putting their neighbor's laundry on top of the dryer so that they can get some wash done?
2. When was the last time you actually had to go into a bank? I forgot my pin number today when I stood at the counter, asking for my three rolls of quarters. I'm hoping I won't have to go back for awhile.
3. How young nineteen year old boys are.
4. In the fall, how everything seems romanticized and nothing seems real.

Things that I wish...
1. I wish I were braver. That I could be that person who steps up and fixes things. That I could say the things that I want to say, that I could look you in the eye.
2. I wish I were stronger. That I could be that person who seems to always have it together and that can hold up other people. That I could be strong enough to be braver.
3. I wish that time would slow down and let things happen.
4. I wish I were able to do the thing you want me to do and that I knew what that was.

But for now, I'll settle for a glass of wine, some music and the sounds of this old house, with secrets to share and with places to tuck new secrets. I'll probably try at least two more times to keep the cat off the cupboard and then I will probably give up and go to bed. Because lately, I am an insomniac and wake in the wee hours of the morning, wondering what time it is, only to discover that it has been only two hours since I crawled into bed. So tonight, I'll probably read a little, falling asleep when I least expect it.

leaves rain down in an unexpected hailstorm outside the window. looking twice, a realization that the leaves are translucent, colored, soft. they are not hard, unyielding or icy. looking again, they are floating, wind-torn and tired.

Quote of the day:

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” - Raymond Lindquist

keep breathing

Tonight I curled up in my big purple chair with books, quilts, cider and cats. It was a delicious feeling, except for when I awoke to discover it was 9:30 and I'd not read much of anything that I needed to for class.

So now, I will open the window, let the cool fall air in, wake up and read. I wonder, as we approach the middle of the tenth month of this year, as always where the time has gone. So I keep breathing, and wait for tomorrow, when I will be in a different state of mind and when the sun will shine.

Two quotes that beg for posting that I stumbled upon while looking for something else. The first, I send to my sister, reminding her that you can't help who you fall in love with. The second, a Swedish proverb, is too true for words.

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over." - Anonymous

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.” - Swedish Proverb

you're the reason I've run out

I don't have anything particularly exciting to share tonight, except for some things that I feel the need to share with someone else.

Tonight is one of the nights that I'm having a "I live alone...boo..." nights. Because in this fallish weather, I wish for good conversations, stew and hot apple cider. So in an attempt to remedy that, I decided that I was going to go and get some cider. And an ink cartridge because I ran out.

You know how you go to Target for one thing and end up buying like eight? That was me tonight with the cider and the ink cartridge, candy for the dish at work, shampoo because I'm almost out and then nail polish remover because the Oriental Red on my toes is starting to look a little more...faded. But the thing that is interesting about this is really the thought process. These were all things that I probably intended to buy at one time or another. Not really things I need, but things that were on my list to get. And how, when I went for a 74 HP Black Printer Cartridge and apple cider, did I arrive at shampoo, candy and nail polish remover? Do they plan the stores so that you have to go by things that might align? Because apple cider and nail polish remover don't really scream similar to me.

I drove up to New Brighton today to get cat food at the vet and since I went right after work, I took my old route, before the bridge collapsed. It was definitely an odd sensation, seeing as how not only was there virtually no traffic, but the world just seemed different. Probably because I no longer live in that part of the metro, don't drive that way as much and because life in general has come full circle. And, I am AMAZED at how much cheaper gas was up there - $2.99! If I hadn't just filled up, I would have been all over it. Does living in the city really make that much of a difference? Apparently so.

Ever since I finally plugged in my old Aiwa stereo in the dining room, I've been on a classical music kick. And tonight, one of my favorite things happened. They played a piece on the radio that not only did I know without looking up or waiting to hear what it was, but that I'd played in orchestra. It's fun to be able to name the composer and the piece - and yes, I know I'm a huge dork for saying that. But it makes me smile. And because I love piano music.

A tidbit from the Star Tribune today - the MN Wild have a mascot. Meet Nordy.

Lastly, on Lexington, there is a sign that says:
Piano
"FOR SALE"
with the phone number

Why, can you tell me, does the "for sale" need to be in quotation marks? Any thoughts, Rach?

I should take a photo of it to post here for you all to see.

Wishing you all good conversations, hot cider moments and warm quilts.

Quote o' the day:
"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion."
- Sir Francis Bacon, "Of Beauty"
English author, courtier, & philosopher (1561 - 1626)