the lonely is such delicate things

Garrison Keillor wrote in his column last Sunday about finding the joy in life. He says:

Joy has the power to sweep misery away. This is true. Nobody "gets over" anything, there is no closure, hearts stay broken for a long time. Love is a tumult and it's a wonder anyone survives it. But you look out the window and imagine joy is waiting for you somewhere..."

Isn't that the truth? I felt the need to share that, because on this rainy day, when I am tired out, stressed out and wishing for a highway to drive way from it all, I know that even though the last two weeks have been nothing short of hellish at work, next week, it will be sunny again and I will be glad to be where I am. So, to combat the compelling urge I have to quit my life as I know it today, I sit and drink red wine and eat dark chocolate. They're supposed to be good for your heart, right? My heart can use some cheering right now.

The last week has been tumultuous in so many ways - not only has there been a lot of stuff going on at work, but I've gained a roommate, lost a roommate, lost two roommates and decided that it's a good thing for me to move out on my own. So at the end of the summer, friends, I will be finding my own apartment and setting up a space that is mine. I'm excited, but it's bittersweet. The end of an era. I will no longer have my sister around to keep me company and share silly things with. But I know that we'll probably still end up spending a lot of time together. I feel lucky to have had the chance to live with her because if we hadn't, we probably wouldn't be as close as we are now. And instead of living with Sarah, as planned, she'll have her own place and that's good for her and probably good for our friendship.

I've not done any writing yet, nor have I started The Artist's Way. I should, at this very moment, be working on work because I'm presenting at work tomorrow morning and I am procrastinating in the worst way. Writing birthday cards to an ex and lamenting the fact that I have tons of address labels I won't be able to use aren't exactly constructive uses of my time. But my nervousness about tomorrow cannot be abated and thinking about it only seems to make it worse. So perhaps I will end up winging it, or else after this wine is gone, I'll feel relaxed enough to get this done. The thing that is hardest, and what I knew would be hardest about being in the position I'm in is that I have so many friends at work that I can't share the misery with. I don't know how to elaborate on that statement, but I think that you will understand, friends.

In an effort to be cheery on what seems to be a non-cheery day for me, I will say that when I went to get our father's day present for my dad, not only was there a meter available right in front of the store in the middle of a rain deluge, but it had 50 minutes left on it. Which just kind of made my whole day better. Random acts of kindness are the best, even when unintentional. I put two quarters in before I left.

I am anxiously awaiting tomorrow afternoon when I will be done with this blasted presentation that everyone seems to make such a big deal out of and when I can go play Tchaikovsky's 1812 Symphony in rehearsal and get it all out of my system. I may take a half day on Friday to do a few things for me (like get a headlight fixed...), but we shall see how the rest of the week goes.

Is anyone else amazed that it is already June 12 tomorrow? I know I am. I'm in awe of how fast everything seems to be going and can't seem to recall a time when things were slower and simpler. When a smile was just a smile and when work was not responsibility.

Quote o' the day:

"That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another..." -Charles M. Schulz